Fans, Flares, and Footie Frolics Galore…
Manchester turned into a theatre more dramatic than a Shakespearean tragedy this weekend, as red flares erupted like volcanos in a candy store across the city centre ahead of the epic Manchester Derby at the legendary Old Trafford. More than 70,000 football fanatics, each more animated than a squirrel on espresso, swarmed the city, turning tram stops into impromptu smoke machines with a glorious hue of Manchester United’s favourite shade. It was a scene more chaotic than a cat trying to play the violin.
Not wanting to miss the show, Greater Manchester’s finest in blue rallied an army of officers more prepared than a knight heading on a dragon quest. Their mission? Ensure the festivities didn’t turn into a medieval joust! But that’s not all, for Manchester United supporters, zealous as a goldfish at feeding time, were revving up a protest against the Glazer family. They’ve been jumping up and down since 2005 with protests hotter than a chili-eating contest!
Meanwhile, Chief Superintendent Colette Rose, who seemed as cool as a cucumber in an igloo, reminded everyone via the megaphone of public announcements to enjoy their pints in moderation and behave like they didn’t just escape from a circus. Her words of wisdom were simple: plan your journey wisely and make sure your only penalty is a harmless joke, not an actual one. May the best team win, even if the turf ends up looking like a giant’s vegetable patch!
