The Fatigue Chronicles of Man City…
In a plot twist more unexpected than a referee playing a cheeky backheel, Manchester City have decided that parading the FA Cup around the city is about as likely as their mascot moonlighting as a stand-up comic. Even if they manage to cajole that shiny bauble back from Crystal Palace, there’s no confetti-showered journey through the streets. Nope, Pep’s players prefer a lie-down on a cloud of peace and quiet!
Once upon a trophy cabinet in 2011, City parades were the stuff of legends, featuring more jubilation than winning free fish and chips for life! But now, even if they bag a win at Wembley, the club prefers sleep over sequins. Starry-eyed Guardiola says the season’s script has been a little wonky — chalking it up as an ‘awful’ season, perhaps jinxed by a hex or two. To Pep, FA Cup jungle assault and a Champions League ticket isn’t partying hard enough.
Instead of practicing their pageantry waves, the Citizens are bracing for sizzling face-offs with Bournemouth and Fulham in a Premier League pinch fight. These last matches could determine if they end up hobnobbing in the glamorous Champions League or slumming it in the Europa League. Alas, then it’s off to the United States before international duties. City’s rollercoaster ride through the season ends not with a parade but a post-match slump on the world’s most elusive couch! Forget parades; it’s all about sneaking in a nap before the next whistle blows.
