Pep’s Walk of Wonder vs. City Sleepwalkers…
In a move straight out of “Managerial Styles for Dummies”, Pep Guardiola casually sauntered onto the pitch to bask in the Manchester sunshine before the big clash. Alas, his City squad must have thought it was nap time, putting on a performance more sluggish than a tortoise in syrup. The much-hyped Manchester derby unfurled like a damp squib, leaving fans wondering if anyone told them it was supposed to be a football match and not a leisurely stroll through Manchester’s dreary weather.
Kevin De Bruyne, the maestro with shoes made of pure magic marmalade, bid adieu to a decade of City brilliance. Yet, during the match, he looked like he had misplaced his wand in a pile of mashed potatoes. The entire squad, comfortably settling into ‘Snooze Mode’, passed and moved with the urgency of a sloth on holiday. United, residing comfortably in 13th place, should’ve been an easy snack for City, but even their fans couldn’t believe how kind City were to share the ball like a bunch of jolly good sports.
With Newcastle—and Aston Villa!—breathing fiery dragon breath down their necks, City might soon find themselves sleepwalking right out of Champions League contention. Meanwhile, Pep’s furrowed brow and muttering on the touchline to himself seemed to suggest he was reconsidering career choices that didn’t involve watching his team play like very confused penguins. His hopes for a spark were as deflated as a beach ball in a porcupine convention; Guardiola must now look to ignite a team that opts for yawns over yells in the league of legends gone lazy.
