Pep’s Age Victory and the Goalkeeper Glitch…
Manchester City’s squad is so fresh, it makes lettuce look like ancient scrolls! Pep’s pack of prodigies danced their way to a 2-0 victory over Wydad AC with a squad average age so low, it could have been in kindergarten! With just two players, aka the ‘Golden Oldies’ Nathan Ake (30) and Ederson (31), City were strutting their stuff like spring chickens. However, in a turn of fate as wild as a squirrel on espresso, the mojo slipped faster than a banana peel on ice, leading to a humdinger of a 4-3 defeat by Al Hilal.
Alas, City fans were hit by a blast from the past when Ilkay Gundogan, at a sprightly 34, waltzed onto the stage. This time, the average age crept up like a sneaky cat to 26.9. Guardiola’s chasing the dream of youth so fervently that he’d probably sign Father Time for the bench if he had to. The goalkeeper department, however, is like a retirement home reunion with Ederson and Stefan Ortega hanging around like the ancient guardians of the City net.
City’s got young whippersnappers everywhere—from Kevin-the-teenage-midfielder (not a real person) to Baby-Faced-Defender (also not real)! Yet the goalkeeping saga is still stuck in the 90s mixtape era. The new whizz-kid director, Hugo Viana, seems to have stumbled upon a goalkeeper conundrum surrounded by this youthful renaissance. Time for him to work his transfer magic and summon a young glove-warrior before City’s gatekeepers turn into museum exhibits!
