Man City Fans Too Skint for Wembley?

Pep’s Pep Talk for Absent Cityzens…

In a move hotter than the sun, human-sized talking tactical board Pep Guardiola has passionately defended Manchester City’s footy faithful! Despite facing a semi-final showdown at Wembley, over 5,000 tickets were rusting away like forgotten football boots. With prices spikier than a hedgehog’s hairdo—£90, £120, and a whopping £150—many fans opted to spend their dosh on pies instead of making the pilgrimage to their second home. Apparently, once you’ve been to Wembley more often than a stray cat visits a fish market, the novelty dims faster than a footballer’s memory after a yellow card.

In loyalty so fierce, it could tackle a rhino, City fans have been raising a stink about ticket prices like seagulls squawking over stale chips. The loudest groans were heard at Etihad, where a seat for a tot costs £42 and grown-ups part with £71. Even Guardiola—beard as wise as Merlin’s—understands their plight as much as he understands a goal from 40 yards out. “People suffer economically,” sayeth Pep, demonstrating heart larger than a football stadium buffet. With previous chipper escapades canceled over schedules tighter than a new pair of boots, he insists fans are with them in spirit, even if their wallets are on the bench.

Kick-off at the unreasonable hour of ‘yawn-thirty’ on Sunday has left the fans scratching their heads like confused chickens at a disco, trying to figure if they should gamble their trip on a late-night return to reality. Fans who braved the chilly Community Shield faced more echo than a haunted mansion, so naturally, Pep’s as baffled as a penguin in a sauna. But fear not, Cityzens! Whether they’re there in the flesh or sending spiritual cheers from afar, the Man City tribe is cheering harder than a vuvuzela orchestra—determined to turn silence into a triumphant symphony of support.