De Bruyne’s Rollercoaster Derby Finale…
Hold onto your vuvuzelas, folks, because King Kev is hanging up his Manchester City boots like a wizard retiring his wand after a decade of spells and swerves! In what can only be described as a football match stuck in slow-motion, Manchester City’s midfield maestro, De Bruyne, took his final bow at the Manchester derby – a performance that was less epic thunderstorm, more gentle drizzle.
Our Belgian hero clicked his heels around Old Trafford, making majestic moose-like runs, but hey, where was the fairy-tale finish? Without his partner-in-kicks, the ever-stretchy Haaland, even the pigeons weren’t impressed. De Bruyne’s shots tickled Andre Onana but never quite struck fear into the keeper’s gloves. Meanwhile, Phil Foden played morale conductor like a cheerleader on double espresso, but dearest Kev seemed more ‘slow waltz’ than ‘cha-cha-cha’.
As if drawn by hidden magnets, the fans gave a standing ovation that could summon faraway aliens. Even Bruno Fernandes stopped to offer a handshake of harmony amidst this football fiesta of farewells. And as the crowd departed, De Bruyne stood like a reluctant football deity, a bit shy in the spotlight but ever the hero in the hearts of the sky-blue faithful. Here’s hoping his farewell tour is more kefta kebab than plain ol’ porridge!
