Can Haaland Score in the Unbreakable Fortress?…
Erling Haaland, the Norse god of goal-getting, is on an epic quest to break the ‘Wembley Wobble’ this weekend! Our Viking warrior has left his mark on 28 out of 36 battlegrounds, but Wembley remains a fortress even Thor would struggle to crack. He’s like an outlaw with 71 goals at Etihad but struck out five times in the land of Wembley sausages and pie.
Haaland has invaded Wembley in two FA Cup finals, a semi-final, and a couple of Community Shield skirmishes, yet he’s scored as much as a diet coke at a hot dog fest. Our man is darting like a startled squirrel but hasn’t hit the acorn. His weaponry? A respectable 1.7 shots per final. His Kryptonite? Tight defenses as stubborn as a mule wading through peanut butter!
Meanwhile, Pep Guardiola is in a pickle jar over selecting the football Thor or unleashing the Marmoush Marauder. Anyhow, Haaland, with his record-breaking prowess, is more dangerous than a ninja following a bakery truck. Keep an eye out for the Wembley wizardry this weekend as Haaland plans to raid the Crystal Palace and decorate it with goals like a football Picasso. Stay tuned for a colossal clash!
