The Tale of the Goal That Never Was…
In the thrilling drama that was Kevin De Bruyne’s Etihad farewell, the beloved Man City maestro gave fans a ride wilder than a roller coaster set on fast-forward! As he stared down the Bournemouth goal like it had wronged his family, De Bruyne unleashed a thunderous wallop from just five yards out… but lo and behold, the ball had other plans. Instead of a heroic farewell goal, it struck the crossbar with a twang that left the crowd more frozen than a goalkeeper caught in headlights. Even his family sitting charmingly in the stands groaned in unison, like they’d been waiting for the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle only for it to be chewed by the dog.
Meanwhile, the ghost of Marmoush hovered around the pitch like a footballing specter, ready to snatch his moment of magic from under De Bruyne’s metaphorical nose! With a cannonball of a shot that defied every law of physics known to man, Marmoush delivered a stunner straight out of a comic strip, as it reigned supreme like a fireworks finale into the top corner! Pep’s tactical wizardry saw the crowd ooze into chants of “Shoot! Shoot!” whenever Marmoush found himself anywhere near the coveted sphere, as if he was a superhero granted the power of spectacular long-range strikes.
Despite the chaos of red cards and Pep’s volcanic eruptions that would make any Vesuvius proud, Ilkay Gundogan and Bernardo Silva reminded everyone that even in a slapstick scenario, class is permanent. Silva’s elegance, Gonzalez’s curls, and Nico’s final act of defiance secured the most snug spot into the Champions League. The party climaxed when Chairman Khaldoon Al Mubarak proclaimed De Bruyne as City’s near-divine talent, setting the stage for a debate as epic as a Marvel crossover about who’s truly the GOAT—some say De Bruyne, others will whisper “Marmoush”, simply because of a single sensational night.
