Pep’s Boys Tame Morrocan Lions…
In a dazzling spectacle that could only be rivaled by a magician’s disappearing act, Manchester City waltzed into Philadelphia and gently nudged Wydad AC aside in the Club World Cup curtain-raiser. The game was barely two minutes in when Phil Foden, aka the ‘Wizard of Wythenshawe’, cast a spell so potent that the scoreboard blinked 1-0 and every defender on the field briefly forgot how to mark a man. Not satisfied with just tickling the scoreboard, Foden unleashed another conjuring circle — sorry, a corner — finding Jeremy Doku who volleyed the ball home with the grace of a ballet-dancing rocket launcher.
But oh no, what’s this? A spectral red card looms over the field! Young Rico Lewis engaged in a sliding tango with fate when his boot found an unintended amigo in Samuel Obeng’s face. It was a genuine oopsie, the kind that makes one wish for a rewind button, but unfortunately, there are no such luxuries in the world of leather balls and goal nets. With Lewis destined for the Big Empty Stand, Guardiola must now reshuffle his deck of cards ahead of their battle with Al Ain in the break of dawn.
Cue the entrance of Erling Haaland — the Soccer Sasquatch! Though his feet were presumably adorned with anvils, he thundered onto the lush pastures ready to demolish both glares and scoring droughts in equal measure. However, Daylight (or perhaps the Wydad goalie) was his only nemesis as he failed to etch his name on the scoresheet. Even so, Manchester City swooped their victory with the kind of élan that only comes when you’re a part-time footballer and a full-time superhero in disguise!
