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Watch out defenders, Haaland’s toughest rival is now… a bus door? The Manchester City striker’s new stitches tell the tale!

Donnarumma lands at Man City, swapping goalie gloves faster than a wizard! Will his 6’7″ frame save goals, or simply confuse Martians? Let the debate begin!

Guardiola’s soap opera at Man City delivers again! Will Donnarumma be the hero of the season or another sequel? Stay tuned for the plot twist!

Man City’s defense needs a right-back, and fans are more panicked than a cat at a dog show. Lewis and Nunes are in the hot seat!

Saliba’s missing the big City clash, and Arsenal fans are worried! Ankle acrobatics gone wrong! Pep’s team sharpens plans as fans send bubble wrap!

Manchester City nabs teenage goalie Ben Vickery faster than you can say Haggis! Watch out for this 16-year-old sensation from the Highland mist!

Rodri whirls Man City in Real Madrid rumor tornado! Boardrooms quake, headlines swirl, but Rodri’s calm as a chef in a storm. Stay tuned for this spicy saga!

Sverre Nypan chuckles at being compared to sleek Martin Odegaard, calling himself a midfield Swiss Army knife spinning rivals like a revolving door!

Guardiola trades Ederson for Donnarumma, swapping samba for superhero skills! City’s goal switch feels like parking a tank in your driveway!

Man City faces a wacky injury crisis before the derby! Key players are dropping like clowns at a banana convention, leaving Pep in a ghost-spotting conundrum!

Paul Pogba’s ready to dazzle AS Monaco and conquer the Champions League! Will he wobble like a flamingo or shock us in a dance-off comeback? Stay tuned!

Man City’s defense crumbles like a cookie! Injuries hit, Pep’s spinning ‘wheel of worry.’ Can Ruben, Ake, and Nunes turn superhero before the big derby?

Man City juggles a clown car of challenges with derby drama, Napoli dance-offs, and Arsenal’s piñata replay. Can Pep paint victory or rewrite time?

Man City’s defense turns to origami as John Stones folds due to injury. With an injury list that’s already as long as a giraffe’s neck, can Pep juggle it all?

Erling Haaland’s ready to turn missed shots into a goal tsunami for Man City, as stats suggest goals might rain down like cats and dogs any moment!