Captain Sparks Midfield Mayhem…
Strap on your shin-pads and buckle up for a rollicking ride as Manchester United captain Bruno Fernandes decided to morph into a motivational monster during the Sunday’s Manchester derby! Rumor has it, he transformed into a red-hot firecracker on the pitch, reportedly giving his teammates the hairdryer treatment not once but thrice! The first casualty of Bruno’s no-passing-zone was young Alejandro Garnacho, who was about as quick on the ball as a turtle in a molasses race.
Not content with just one dart attack, our fearless captain turned his eye of judgement towards the hapless Patrick Dorgu, with some saying that even Gary “Commentary King” Neville was twirling his commentator mustache in agreement! And then, as if orchestrated for comedic effect, Bruno’s third act of maverick madness involved none other than Rasmus Hojlund, who might need to install some turbo boosters on those boots!
Meanwhile, City were without their goal-scoring Viking, Erling Haaland, which clearly proved to be a plot twist worthy of a Saturday morning cartoon! Ruben Dias’ timed tango with Garnacho led to a fabulous free-kick opportunity that Bruno sent sailing into space! Kevin De Bruyne, preparing for his drama-filled curtain call later this season, didn’t even need a cape as he waved goodbye. De Bruyne’s brilliance was praised by everyone from bus drivers to the Queen’s corgis — but alas, City broke no records and United broke no nets!
