Goalkeeper Drama at Crystal Palace…
It was a day the Etihad might as well have renamed “the Groin War” as City’s number one, Ederson, hobbled off with a limp so dramatic even Shakespeare would’ve said, “Steady on!” With a groin injury that seemed to sing “Woe is me!” Ederson exited stage left in the 70th minute, replaced by Stefan Ortega in a football fairy tale nobody asked for. The Brazilian had felt like he was in a slapstick comedy, gifting Palace two goals with mystifying moves even a circus wouldn’t advertise, before the Sky Blues launched a comeback that had the fans dreaming of Champions League glory once more.
Cue Kevin De Bruyne, maestro of the magic free-kick, levitating a goal into the net like Harry Potter wingardium-leviosa-ing a Quaffle through the hoop. Then up popped Omar Marmoush and Mateo Kovacic, who found Palace’s net like granny finding biscuits at a yard sale. The crowd roared as James McAtee, channeling the ghost of Ederson great deliveries past, soared for a cheeky lob over Dean Henderson. With this assist, Ederson galloped into the history books, overtaking his own record and leaving others scratching their heads wondering if he’s a goalie or quarterback.
But alas, the injury gods seem to be throwing a Real Madrid-sized tantrum at Manchester City. Ederson now joins the queue longer than a British supermarket just before Christmas, consistent with Phil Foden, Ake, Stones, Akanji, Haaland, and Rodri sipping tea on the sidelines. Pep Guardiola, now the mystery-solving fantastico, is left to shuffle the squad like a magician with a pack of cards he forgot how to play. Watch this comic strip of healing names, as City fans boot up Spotify for “Groin Injury FM” updates.
